baby kicks!

So I think I've developed this awesome baby 6th sense... I decide it's time to start researching something, like strollers, car seats, second trimester pre-natal exercises, etc... and then after a week of obsessive research, I receive highly informative emails from my various baby related websites, telling me all about the top 20 rated, most favoritest ever strollers, latest fitness trends, baby swings, high chairs, Kegels exercises, and on and on and on... 

It's actually a little frustrating... But I guess I'm forming my own opinions first.... right?  GrRRrrr...

Anyhow, my latest round of baby- emails has been all about feeling baby's movements.  "You probably feel baby moving all the time now... but if you don't, don't worry!  Most first time mamas don't feel baby until as late as 22 weeks!"  

And then there are the 600 comments where all these women agree how they feel baby moving "ALL THE TIME!!!"  The only thing I've been feeling is heartburn.  I was starting to get panicked.  On top of the weird baby-related dreams (for another post...), Vic is still in Angola, and I keep feeling like I Am The Only Pregnant Woman In The World Who Doesn't Feel Baby Moving At Almost 20 Weeks.  

What I have been very aware of is my digestion system.  (Weird?) And my heartburn.  But also my heart rate.  

I put my hands on my belly when I first wake up.  I lay in bed for a few minutes and I wait for the big first moment. Or I lay on the couch after chugging a glass of water. (Water is so sexy delicious these days.... also weird.)  Sometimes I get so focused trying to feel baby move that I am convinced I can feel my hands pulsing.  After I walk up the stairs, I feel my hear rate up a few beats, I hold my belly. I feel it pulsing sometimes. Is there anything happening? Mmmmmmmmm... waiting, waiting... uhh.......

The informative emails and comments I read via mama-blogs all say the same thing. "It feels like butterflies!" I haven't felt butterflies.   But I swear, for the last two weeks, I've felt like I can actually feel my digestive track in action.  

Guess what.  Two weeks of nervousness (bordering on anxiety) about feeling Baby's movement...  I've realized that I AM feeling Baby move, and I had no idea!  AHHHHHHHhhh stupid baby websites!!!  Kinda anti-climactic... 

I had this idea in my head that I would feel Baby move from an outsider's perspective... Does that make sense?  I kept thinking I would feel Baby moving by putting my hands on my belly... but it never occurred to me that I would feel Baby move from inside first...

This I am sure, makes me sound like an idiot, but I did say that I know next to nothing about pregnancy, and what now I realize is probably so obvious, still feels so surreal to me. I wasn't feeling digestion (duh... ) but of course it was that little mango inside me literally swimming around, kicking, sucking thumbs, stretching, bending elbows and knees... eeee!!

I haven't felt fluttering, per se, but I've felt.... little tickles?  Thinking I had to pee, I'd get up, tinkle.. a little... or not... but didn't think much of it. (TMI? haha) Or I'd eat lunch and feel my full belly and happily enjoy my post-lunch food coma.  And I get so thirsty, I love chugging water....  A lot of the times, it feels like I have a full belly of water.. and you feel the water sloshing around in there?  Mmmmm....

Tickles, gurgles, killer acid burps, oh yeah... that is our little hellion.  That's Baby Castro moving!!  EEEE!!!  How weird, exciting, creepy, surreal.  I think these are the top 4 ways I can describe pregnancy so far.  

(ps.  i still wanna feel baby baby move with my hands... though i think that won't be for awhile longer.. :P)